please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
