Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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