VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
