im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
