can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
