This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
operation have a gay friend backfired
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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