We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
