this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
