How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this hospital has no fireball
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
