Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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