My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
