I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
