So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
