Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So many bounce houses so little time
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
