She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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