My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
