i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
