By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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