I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When are your genitals available?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
