Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
