You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
