I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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