My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
