belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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