I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
operation harelip BJ is a go
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
