Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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