i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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