turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
