nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's Friday. Sex?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
