I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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