her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
