she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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