I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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