omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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