Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
