I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
