i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
