As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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