Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize