Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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