Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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