he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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