uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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