She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
