It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
