My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
