Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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