it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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