3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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