Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize