Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
