This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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