Walk of Shame. In a state park.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
