jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
