Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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