I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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