I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mom said you looked used
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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