He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
