I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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