She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
