no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
