did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he shaved USA in his pubs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
