Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
