i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
