1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
